Editor’s Note: A Swiftie Walks Into a GWARbar
If you’d asked me a few weeks ago when I'd last sat penis-side at dinner, I’d have told you it’d been too long. But new years bring about tides of change, and my husband and I finally got out for a night on the town in January at a local staple we had yet to visit in our Richmonder careers: GWARbar.
The metal-punk watering hole isn’t something I’d typically zero in on for an outing. Taylor Swift is at the top of my Spotify Wrapped, year after year, and quite frankly, I get spooked going into a Spirit Halloween. But what kind of Richmond experience are we *really* having if it doesn’t include a meat sandwich at this blood-spattered bar? We called up our sitter and got ready to have ourselves a time.
When you first walk up to GWARbar, you quickly get a sense of what you’re in for. There are disembodied heads in the front window, some demonic cherubs (??) hang over you once you get inside, and an illuminated extra-large, extra-veiny eyeball stares at you from across the room as you decide whether to hang at the bar to the right or grab a table in the dining area to the left.
We cozied up at a corner booth to the left, past the disembodied heads, next to some phallic graffiti, and got to perusing the dinner menu. I already knew ahead of time that the wings (see: WANGS!) are a must-try, according to seasoned GWARbar goers, but I can’t be convinced to order much else when there are totchos for sale. We started there, and frankly, I’m still wishing we’d gotten a second round to go; the crispy tots are smothered in cheese sauce and salsa, then topped with pickled jalapeños and lime crema.
To get our fair share of protein and produce in, though, we also went for the Pickle Burger (topped with pickle, fried pickle, caramelized onions, and horseradish sauce) and the Meat Sandwich (“The second-best thing you'll ever put in your mouth!” they say; a toasted brioche bun, piled high with pulled pork in your choice of either GWARbq or Carolina BBQ sauce and topped with fennel slaw, onion straws, and hot sauce). Then we washed that all down with some GWARbeer — a Champion Brewing Company contribution.
Everything hit the spot, and dare I say the moody lighting emitting from the smaller — still veiny! — eyeballs hanging around the place and the monster-teeth (??) sconces on the walls made everything feel very comfy on a frigid-af winter night out in Richmond?
GWARbar fancies itself “a twisted place to eat,” and it’s self-aware; I wasn’t *not* getting that Spirit Halloween feeling while we chowed down. Going in, I didn’t consider myself the target demo for the spot, but when the service is friendly, the food is extremely delish, and there’s locally brewed beer, isn’t the target demo really anyone who’s down to clown? And I’m nothing if not that. Whether you’re more Bad Blood or more The Blood of Gods, there’s something for you at GWARbar — but make sure you put in an order for the totchos, too.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kelsey is RVAx co-owner and editor-in-chief. She moved to Richmond in 2018, settling(ish) first in Scott's Addition, then in Church Hill, before finding a suburban spot that gives her and her family just a bit more room to grow. You can usually find her reading yet another thriller or rewatching whatever Friends episode she rewatched least recently.
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